Memo To My Future Self

MEMORANDUM

To:	46-year old Katlin
From:	36-year-old Katlin
CC:	Professor
Date:	December 4, 2019
Re:	Nonverbal Communication

As my first semester at (University) winds down, I find myself reflecting on the many concepts covered in my Nonverbal Communications class as they apply to my marriage.  It is my expectation that, in a decade, (Husband) and I will still be married.  I know that nothing happens in a vacuum, though, so I want to remind you of key concepts that will strengthen your marriage. 

I want to first mention how our bodies move through space.  It is important to be aware of posture, eye behavior, and facial expressions when having a serious discussion with (Husband).  As you have already seen, how you hold your body has a definite impact on the conversation.  Arms folded across your chest can signal aggression, though it can also mean that you are hurting.  Uncrossing your arms and relaxing your stance goes a long way to alleviate tension in the room.  Defensive postures can inhibit effective communication and add tension to the discussion.  Wildly gesticulating during a tense conversation can also be inappropriate.  You don’t want to look nervous or defensive when you’re trying to talk to him, so keeping an eye on your emotional displays as they relate to the moment can only improve the conversation.  

Touch is another very important aspect to remember.  You know that (Husband)’s love language is physical touch. Don’t be stingy with hugs and kisses, as affection will have a positive effect on his emotional well-being.  In a marriage, touch is essential to the maintaining the intimate relationship.  It is important to clasp his hand when he reaches for you and to initiate.  Holding hands in public identifies that you are together and speaks his love language. In private, initiate touch and linger.  Touch tells him nonverbally that you love him, whether that be through a quick back massage, holding his hand, kisses, or even just hugs.  You don’t want him to become starved for touch as that could lead to marital problems. If he seeks “touch for hire,” it is possible that he will start to become resentful.  

As you reflect on this class from 10 years in the future, I hope that you will remember these keys to marital success through nonverbal communication.  Self-awareness is a challenge but an important one as you move through the world. Who you are and what you stand for is largely communicated nonverbally. It is important to be mindful of these concepts when relating to your spouse because they can make the difference between a happy marriage and a strained one. You want to be purposeful as you emote. Keeping this memo in mind will change your interactions for the better.  I guarantee it!

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Grade: 30/30
Professor Comments:Best wishes for a long and loving life with (Husband).