Test 1
1. Image is very important - even nude images of men or women who believe that certain aspects of their sexual bodies are too small or too big (e.g. small or large breasts, or small penis). Keeping it simple, imagine that you have a close friend that confides in you that she is worried and embarrassed because she thinks her breasts are too small, or another friend, that confides in you that he is worried or embarrassed because he thinks his penis is too small. Discuss at least three responses to one (e.g. either the male or female), friend that might help him/her feel better about him/herself. (10 points)
One of the most beautiful things about humanity are our vast differences in appearance and identity. No two people (with the possible exception of identical twins) are endowed with the same physical features. In our text, the very first thing stated is that “(The student) will see that their genitals can resemble those in the illustrations yet still be unique.” (Rathus, et al., 2018, Section 2.0) I would tell my friend that her body is perfect the way it is and that anyone who she chooses to share her bed with will be less concerned with how her body looks naked than they will be excited just to be with her.
Our text further stated, “A woman’s attitude toward her genitals is likely to reflect her general self-concept and early childhood messages rather than the appearance of her vulva per se.” (Rathus, section 2.1) I have often found that women are especially critical of their bodies, an attitude that I agree with the text is largely based on childhood perceptions and general self-esteem, rather than actual appearance of her body. Her breasts aren’t made to be sex toys, and the text reaffirms this by stating, “In American culture, however, breasts have such erotic significance that a woman’s self-esteem may become linked to her bust line.” (Rathus, section 2.3)
Finally, I would remind my friend that even Freud stated that “sex was a matter of the mind and the body, and the mind if shaped by sexual dynamics.” (Seidman, 2015, p. 11) It is less important what others think of your body, so long as you are comfortable in your own skin. The main way to become comfortable in your own skin is to recognize that you’re worth more than your breasts.
2. Why do people tend to use "nicknames" or make up "special" names for various parts of the female and male sexual anatomy? As you see on page 23 of your text, these early dream symbols describing male and female genital organs, along with symbols for intercourse, now seem quite crude to those of today. I'm sure you have your "pet names" as they did in the early 19th Century. Comment also, on why names for women's anatomy are usually degrading while men are more positive in context. Do you believe men and women will ever use correct terminology for female or male anatomy, and continue with using "pseudo-names?" (10 points)
It is my own personal experience that people make up names for their genitals and sexual body parts because of the massive amount of shame associated with the sexual aspects of their body. As Foucault (1978, p.1) stated, “Repression operated as a sentence to disappear, but also as an injunction to silence, an affirmation of nonexistence.” This idea is furthered in Seidman (p. 32) stating, “A society that can control sex can manage the behavior of individuals and whole populations.” Pet names are a signal of the Victorian ideals of keeping sex in the closet.
Female pet names are usually more degrading than male pet names likely because women are raised to believe their genitals are shameful and only for reproduction; while male sexual behavior is less controlled by society and more encouraged towards promiscuity. Seidman states, “Sex is said to be the very basis of male domination.” (p. 22) He further stated, “We are born with bodies, but it is society that determines which parts of the body and which pleasures and acts are sexual.” (p. 38)
It is my hope that society would use proper medical terminology going forward for many reasons. However, with the current Victorian ideals captured in Focault, “Everywhere else, modern Puritanism imposed its triple edict of taboo, nonexistence, and silence,” (p. 1) it doesn’t seem likely. Even among my friends, there is a culture of using pet names with their own children, stated most clearly in the quote, “Everyone knew, for example, that children had no sex, which is why they were forbidden to talk about it, why one closed one’s eyes and stopped one’s ears whenever they came to show evidence to the contrary, and why a general and studied silence was imposed.” (p. 1) Medically accurate sex education, including correct names for body parts, is essential to a thriving and healthy society. However, many do not feel the need to address this in children, who are often though of as pure and shielded from the bitter realities of a society in which sexual abuse is so prevalent and common. As our text states, “When sexual behavior (like masturbation) feels good, but parents connect it with feelings of guilt and shame, the child is placed in conflict and may vacillate between masturbating and swearing off of it.” (section 1.4.6)
3. In Chapter 1, you have the earlier perspectives on human sexuality (a historical view). Take one earlier view and compare it to our current historical period. Do they have anything in common (e.g. politics, law, ect.), or what is different about them (e.g. to harsh, early male-male sexual behavior in Ancient Greece)? Anything you would take from the past and place in our time? I know from the past-history in previous classes that more than one woman liked the "Ancient Hebrews, and the legislation that set the minimum frequency of marital relations, and the amount of time spent at home" (p. 12). (10 points)
If I could change one thing about our modern societal interpretation of sex, I would bring back Goddess Worship and healthy attitudes towards masturbation. It is truly a miracle to provide life, but instead new mothers are expected to be right back to action following birth, which is unfair and ignorant of the healing process that happens following birth. Many cultures around the world provide extensive care for the new mother, but American culture does not, which is a shame. Likewise, American society still views masturbation as a sin.
It’s also crucial to human sexual development to have a healthy sexual identity. As Seidman discussed, “A culture that celebrates a superficial drive for pleasure leads not to fulfillment but to an aimless, unhappy search for gratification.” (p.17) It is the values of the Conservative society as outlined in Focault, “… verbal decency sanitized one’s speech,” (p.1) that have led Americans away from the excesses of European culture and towards a more conservative way of addressing sexual behaviors. Sex has become a commodity for sale, rather than something that is celebrated and revered. Seidman argued, “A capitalist sexual culture promotes tolerance, but it wants to make sex more open and acceptable solely so that sex can be used to sell goods…” (p.18) Though the adage “sex sells” is frequently seen in modernity, it’s also met with a heavy taboo. Parents aren’t talking to their kids, so kids are left to learn about sex through the media, which often provides a very distorted view of sexuality.
4. When you reached a certain point in adolescent (age) you had a lot of resources (e.g. TV, parents, friends, peers, MTV, rap videos, or other media) where you received information about sex when you were growing up. Make a list of some of the information you received at a younger age (regardless if it was true or false), and then make another list of information, in which, you wish you had growing up and even now. (10 points).
List at least five points on each column. (See table below)
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Information about sex when growing up
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Information about sex you wish you had growing up
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Sex sells
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HPV is very common
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How sex works from a biological perspective
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How a tampon works (this is a funny story)
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Why people have sex
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That a vagina isn’t an open cave, but is more like a deflated bicycle
tire
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How contraception works
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The penile head creates a vacuum in the vagina
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Masturbation is healthy and good
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Your first menstruation will not be blood red, but can appear as a
dark brown.
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Porn and the media are not accurate representations of sex
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5. The article Virginity Lost... speaks of one's first sexual experience. Reflect on your own loss of virginity, and using the article for reference, comment on how this experience relates to the article. (most students in the past set up the first part like their CJ, which the second paragraph connecting to the article. (5 points)
Growing up in a sex positive family, I knew that I wasn’t waiting for marriage or Mr. Right, but that I was waiting to feel ready by myself. My first sexual experience was with a childhood love. I tried to make it special, or memorable even, but it turned out to be just awkward. My mother prepared me that it would hurt, even just a little. And she was right. She didn’t prepare me for the closeness I still enjoy with him, even today (though we are both married to different people). After that lone experience, we broke up and I started dating someone else, with whom I would have my next sexual relationship. My mother spoke frequently of orgasm, but it took until my third time before I experienced any pleasure. Since that time, there have only been a small handful of experiences where I didn’t climax. I consider this to be a personal achievement in my sexual history.
In the article, the authors stated, “Women may be disappointed by the actual experience after so much buildup is given to its importance and significance.” (Davidson, et al., 2010, p. 2) That definitely described my first experience. It had been built up to me as this hugely romantic and special event, when in reality, it was more awkward and painful than anything else. It didn’t help that my boyfriend at the time dumped me shortly after. The article further stated, “Relationship status remained a strongly significant predictor of psychological satisfaction for all four racial-gender groups, especially for women.” I do not regret my first consensual sexual experience, but I found the opposite to be true. Though I felt somewhat closer to Mikal, I didn’t feel satisfaction with my first experience. I was just glad that it was over and my virginity could no longer be held as a commodity.
6. Seidman, in Chapter 3, Social Constructionism: Sociology, History, and Philosophy, choose a topic in the text that interested you and comment on its sociological, historical, philosophical content, from the early constructionists from Marx to Foucault, to marriage and social regulation, to questions of identity, to sexuality as a social control, to gender as a performance/process, and the feminist movement. The early history of sexuality, to place sexuality as a social construction, to the philosophy of those trying to come to terms with the idea of sexuality - are all part of our sexuality. (5 points) Good luck with this one. Note: Pick one topic...
As someone who is openly bisexual, the chapters on bisexuality and homosexuality (both in our text and in Seidman) were of particular interest to me. The text states, “The Greeks viewed people as bisexual.” (Rathus, section 1.4). Male-male sex was met with a certain contempt and a large amount of misunderstanding. Female-female sex has also been met with contempt and misunderstanding in our modern world, even though there have always been women who have shirked the roles of homemaker and mother in favor of working and living as a “spinster.” (Seidman, p.21)
Seidman stated, “… we are not born sexual; rather we learn to be sexual beings.” (Seidman p. 30) Freud (as discussed in Seidman) posited, “There is a normal course of sexual development that corresponds to specific stages of psychological development.” (p.6) In his view, gay men were born with a female mind and a male body. Now, of course, we know that this isn’t true. We also know thanks to many writers, including Alfred Kinsey (et al.), and Masters and Johnson, that people are born heterosexual or homosexual, and that women tend to be more fluid in their sexual expression than men. However, Marxists tend to be of the opinion that “Sexuality is valued only if it is confined to marriage and its aim is to create a family.” (Seidman p. 15) The main argument of the Marxist was that more bodies were needed for the industrial society, so sex was only encouraged in so much that it would create a new generation of workers. (Seidman p. 15) Alfred Kinsey and his co-researchers revealed that homosexual behavior in men was vastly more common than ever before previously thought. (Rathus, section 1.5.3) Yet we are still in a puritanical society that has labeled gay sex as a primary taboo.
References
Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, L. (2018). Human Sexuality in a Changing World. (Tenth
Edition). New York, NY: Pearson North America.
Seidman, S. (2015). The Social Construction of Sexuality. (Third Edition). New York, NY: W. W.
Norton & Company.
Foucault, M. (1978). The History of Sexuality: An Introduction. (Volume 1). France: Éditions
Gallimard
Davidson, J. K., Higgins, J. A., Moore, N. B., and Trussell, J. (2010) Virginity lost, satisfaction
gained? Physiological and psychological sexual satisfaction at heterosexual debut. The Journal of
Sex Research. pp 384-413. United States: Routledge, on behalf of the Society for the Scientific
Study of Sexuality
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Grade: 50/50
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